Listen up: I need your help. We need your help. You haven’t bough a copy of Retro Game Challenge yet and this is a big problem. The “we” I mentioned a bit ago is everyone who likes playing good games, ever.

See, it’s like this: There’s a sequel to Retro Game Challenge that has already been released in Japan. It’s called Game Center CX over yonder. As good as Retro Game Challenge is, Game Center CX 2 is even better. Like, a million times better.

But, RGC developer XSEED sees no point to localize Game Center CX 2 until it sells a bunch more copies. I really, really, really want to play this game. You do too, you just don’t know any better yet.

I will not go down without a fight. Though the task may be daunting—unwinnable even—I must do my part. Here is what I offer: for every copy of Retro Game Challenge bought between the publishing of this interview which is to say June 24, 2009 and the release of Game Center CX 2 or Retro Game Challenge 2 I will make a handcrafted Robot Ninja Haggle Man button. Absolutely free of charge. It will look rather a lot like this:

This is a pinback button. You know, like the ones those hipsters seem to like so damned much. Not, like, a button you’d sew onto a sweater or something. Although, if you really wanted, I could fix it that way.

All you need to do is a send me a copy of your receipt. Email is just fine. Blot out any information you don’t want to be shared with me.

Some rules1:

  • It has to be a new copy. Used copies don’t count towards the sales figures. New copies are available on Amazon.com and Best Buy. Probably elsewhere too. Any retailer is fine.
  • It has to be a US copy of Retro Game Challenge. I want it to come to the US so you need to bump up those sales. You can live anywhere, but you need to buy a US copy of RGC.
  • You get one button for every copy of the game you buy. Buy 12 copies for your entire office, get 12 buttons.
  • You pay no shipping whatsoever, wherever you live. I want this game that badly.

I’ll do you one better. You get to choose from two different button designs. You can choose regular vanilla Haggle Man or his “busted” version—this is what he looks like when he takes damage. Here’s an approximation of the two:

Haggle Man (left) and his "busted" version (right)

Is it a little bit silly to bribe you with a crafted tchotchke of a game you haven’t played yet? NO Because once you do play it you’ll agree that this is the best game you’ve ever played. Why am I so sure? Because it is truth!

I’ll make as many as I have to people. Spread the word. Oh, and buy Retro Game Challege!

Update (02 Jul 2009): I’ve posted a follow-up to this article.

1 After sleeping on it I decided I should probably issue a disclaimer that I reserve the right to rescind this offer at a future date should the cost of supplies, shipping, and loss of free time threaten to cause me irrevocable financial and/or mental harm. I have no intention of doing this, mind, I just wanted to put this out there. Oh, and I’d like to mention that I do run an Etsy shop if you’d like to, you know, pay me money for something like this.