Palin likes guns, also America presumably (and yes, I’m aware it’s almost assuredly fake).
Holy crap!
So, I’d survived a long weekend playing tour guide for the in-laws only to wake up in the middle of a storm. Well, two storms I suppose as certain parts of the country were under the barrage of Hurricane Gustav. While I certainly don’t intend to make light of the devastation of said hurricane, I must confess I found the metaphorical Palin storm much more engaging.
So, let us recap this whirlwind of what I can only describe as bat-shit insanity. It’s difficult to believe that this has all occurred over the course of a long, holiday weekend.
On his 72nd birthday, John McCain announced his running mate to be Sarah Palin and the world says, “The fuck?” There was much Googling. Conveniently, someone has updated her Wikipedia page only hours before. As we now know she is a one-time beauty pageant contestant, mayor of a (very) small Alaskan town, and not-even-one-term governor of Alaska. The Republicans have effectively removed experience — one of the very few talking points they had against Barack Obama — from the presidential election.
Sarah Palin’s nomination must have been a blatant attempt to court the much discussed P.U.M.A. (Party Unity My Ass) vote because Hillary supporters only wanted to vote for a vagina and not a whole person. Simultaneously, she was meant to placate “values voters” who presumably aren’t happy that McCain isn’t attacking gays, atheists, and other non-Christians hard enough. In the past she has championed creationism in schools, opposed gay marriage (in name and otherwise), and is a staunch opponent of abortion even in cases of rape.
I also feel compelled to point out that she thinks the phrase “under God” should be left in the US Pledge of Allegiance because it “was good enough for the founding fathers”. Not only was the Pledge of Allegiance not published until 1892, the bit about it being “under God” wasn’t added until 1954 in order to fight the godless Commies of the USSR.
Then the real bombshell. In order to quell the Internet rumors that her daughter, not she, was the real mother of Trig Sarah announced that her now 17 year old daughter was pregnant. In her words Bristol is “about 5 months” in. Now, I don’t much think teenage pregnancy is a good thing, but I don’t much care what anyone else does to their own body so long as I don’t have to suffer for it. I have a feeling that Sarah Palin’s family, and most of the “values voters” her nomination was meant to bring on probably do care quite a bit. Brazenly coming out and announcing her pregnancy seems a bit counterproductive. It’s a bit like saying “There’s no way I killed that guy, because I’m killing this other guy right now!” and pointing to the bloody pulp at your feet.
This whole kerfluffle is a glorious, hilarious soap opera writ large across the face of American politics. I can’t wait to see what happens next. I’m almost certain that she’ll “respectfully decline” the nomination before long, but I hope not too soon. The whole thing is far too entertaining.
