I was particularly keen to see the details of yesterday’s keynote as I had recently received the okay from the wife to upgrade my deceased iPod to a shiny new iPhone. While my desire to purchase one was never officially stymied by her, she had previously expressed a general disinterest in the product that was largely directed at the price1. I might have purchased an iPhone myself, but it would come bundled with a hefty serving of marital antipathy. It wasn’t as if I had the money at the time anyway.

In any event, when the iPhone 1.0 shipped last year I did not get one. I said I’d replace my iPod with one. Lo and behold, a few short weeks ago my 4G iPod up and died on me. “Such timing!” I thought to myself, “The new iPhone will be surely be announced in June.” And, as we all know, it was. Now I had a hat trick: dead iPod, wifely consent, and a brand new device. Not only that, but the release date just so happens to be a day I have off from work. This was kismet, assuredly.

I’ve spent the last few days in a buzz of excitement. The new iPhone is coming, and I’m going to get one.

And then, AT&T went and spoiled my buzz.

First, the new iPhone requires in-store activation. Opening day is doing to crawl. I don’t know if they’ve figured out some extra special way to move people in and out of the store, but I have never been able to get a new phone, activate it, and leave a store in less than 45 minutes. That even excludes shopping, as I knew precisely the phone I intended to get the minute I walked in the door. Second, they raised the price of a data plan, presumably to defray the cost of 3G2. Third, the subsidized price drop means I presumably will have to pay an undisclosed increased price as being a loyal AT&T customer without a 2G iPhone I am at the whim of AT&T’s upgrade policy. My date of eligibility is September 29, 2008.

What I don’t know, as mobile phone companies seem to thrive on this sort of obfuscation, is whether I could just sign a new contract and get the discount or if I can even buy an unsubsidized phone at all. It would appear that either way I’ll be getting an extension of my contract, which I don’t really give two shits about. It gets even more complicated when the type of plan I have is considered. Last year the wife and I made the ill-advised move to a family/shared plan, thinking it would save us money. It did not. In fact, we spend more now with a family plan than we had individually while getting fewer minutes. Thanks, assholes.

I’ll be getting one, AT&T shenanigans or no. I just wish this year’s sale could be more like last year’s.

1 A few years ago she expressed nearly identical opinions at length regarding the iPod before ultimately caving in and buying one herself. I think it’s a consumer defense mechanism.

2 A raise in price has the nasty side-effect of forcing much of the country to pay for a service they can’t have, as 3G coverage is far from universal.